“It shouldn’t be a confrontation; it should be a conversation.”1

I recently viewed the YouTube video – “Tia & Tamera Unleash Long-Held Grievances During Counseling Session”2 and when Tamera so eloquently said, “It shouldn’t be a confrontation; it should be a conversation”, it brought clarity and a better understanding of why there is so much misunderstanding in some relationships. You might would agree. Not only are there misunderstandings between people, but also miscommunications, misinterpretations, misconceptions, misperceptions, misquoting, misjudging, misusing, misleading, and mistaking. It is where we “miss” the mark by failing to listen. According to Psychology Today it mentions, "Being a good listener means listening to understand instead of listening to respond".3

If you could think of one conversation or disagreement, could you say that person was honestly listening to what you said? Or would you say, that person was primarily considering how to respond? Normally, the response was to defend, blame, or say something that was never said rather than to listen with empathy to what the other person was expressing.

A touchy moment in this video is when the counselor asks them to role-play.4 The idea was to show how you perceive what the other person is doing or saying at that time. Overall, it showed misperceptions do happen and could cause unnecessary or unwarranted grief.

In Luke 10:26, Jesus said to him [an expert in Mosaic Law] “What is written in the Law? How do you read it?” Considering Jesus asked the question, “How do you read it,” I believe even Jesus realized that an interpretation could differ from the true intent according to what or how a person reads or perceives it, and may I, also, add an interpreting what others say can differ from the original intent. That is why it is important to clarify what someone is saying or has written instead of making assumptions. When Tia read a text from Tamera, how she read it was different from Tamera's true intention.

I recall meeting either Tia or Tamera at one of my past jobs. Since I was extremely excited about seeing her in person, I do not remember when she said her name. I was not listening but thinking about how to respond. The meeting was one of those precious moments that I will cherish. I am so proud of Tia & Tamera for openly making the effort and taking the steps to understand and listen to each other. Sharing and allowing us to know their struggle is good therapy for those who are struggling with similar grievances.

I am sharing this video because the advice on improving communication skills could be helpful. The video makes one realize that a conversation could help clear up the “misses” from miscommunication to mistakes we might have in life.

Tia & Tamera Unleash Long-Held Grievances During Counseling Session.2

1 Mowry, Tamera, “Unleash Long-Held Grievances During Counseling Session”. YouTube Video. July 17, 2023, E! Entertainment Online, 5:42-5:47, https://youtu.be/v7ylpLpGnMs?si=wtiJrSZPymBOWMcM

2 Mowry, Tia & Tamera, “Unleash Long-Held Grievances During Counseling Session”. YouTube Video. July 17, 2023, E! Entertainment Online, 3:16 -5:45, https://youtu.be/v7ylpLpGnMs?si=wtiJrSZPymBOWMcM

3 Rusnak, Kari MA, LPC. “Listening to Understand Instead of Respond”,   https://www.google.com/search?q=how+to+make+a+website+a+footnote&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS980US980&oq=how+to+make+a+website+a+footnote&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTIICAEQABgWGB4yCAgCEAAYFhgeMg0IAxAAGIYDGIAEGIoFMg0IBBAAGIYDGIAEGIoFMg0IBRAAGIYDGIAEGIoF0gEINzI2MmowajeoAgiwAgE&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8. Accessed 6 April 2024.

4 Mowry, Tia & Tamera, “Unleash Long-Held Grievances During Counseling Session”. YouTube Video. July 17, 2023, E! Entertainment Online, 14.28, https://youtu.be/v7ylpLpGnMs?si=wtiJrSZPymBOWMcM

Emotional/Mental Awareness